| What animal is always trying to catch its breath? |
A panther. (From Kyle C.) |
What's green, orange and has spots that goes 45 mph?
|
A frog on a cheetah. (Nickolas age10)
|
Knock knock,
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in it's cold out here!
(Amber C. Age 9)
|
What is a golfer's favorite drink?
|
Tea
|
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
|
Because it didn't have the guts! (John-JDog-Aungst)
|
What kind of car did the early Christians have?
|
Well the Bible said that they were all in one acord.
(Bekah Fry, age 12) |
| What do you call a burnt Dachshund? |
A Hot Doggy!!! Mackenzie M. (age 10) |
| What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? |
A stick. (From Sara H.) |
| The Big Bang Theory: |
God spoke, and BANG!!!!
It happened! |
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo! |
Knock knock,
Who's there?
Ida
Ida who?
It's not Idawho, it's Idaho!
(Kail) |
| If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring? |
Pilgrims! |
| Why do seagulls fly over the sea? |
Because if they would fly over the bay, they would be baygulls! |
| Why is the math book sad? |
Because it has a lot of problems!
(Rachel S.) |
| What is round on bothsides and hi in the middle? |
Ohio! (Amanda, age 9) |
| Why did the bathtub go to the doctor? |
Because it had a tubby ache. (Rachel Jordan , age 11) |
| What does a duck say to a rabbit who just told him a joke? |
You quack me up! (Anna Keener , age 12) |
| Why did the golfer wear two pairs of underwear? |
In case he got a hole in one. (Amanda M.) |
| What did the one mushroom say to the other mushroom? |
Your a fun guy. |
| What starts with T ends With T and is full of Tea? |
A teapot |
| What did the pump say to the car? |
I'm mad -as-a-gas-car.(from Dan, age 12) |
| Why was 6 afraid of 7? |
Because 7, 8, 9! (From Josiah Shenk) |
| What has 3 hands but one face? |
A clock. (from Katie, age 10) |
| What is the difference between a fish and a piano? |
You can't tuna fish. (from Katie, age 10) |
| Why aren't our noses 12 inches long? |
Because then it would be a foot. (from Patrick K.) |
| What do you call a cow with no legs? |
Ground Beef! (from Wes S.) |
| What do you call a cow that has been in an earthquake? |
A Milk Shake! (from Wes S.) |
| What do you call a cow that has just had a baby? |
Decalfinated! (from Wes S.) |
| Why did the spy spend the day in bed? |
Because he was told to stay undercover! (from Andrey B) |
| There were two old men sitting on a park bench talking to each other when one of them asked, "Can I sing you a song?" The other man replied, "Sure, but only if can you sing tenor?" The first man asked, "What is tenor?" The other man replied, "Ten or eleven miles away!" – (Karah Richardson- Age 9) |
| Why are girls like chocolate more than boys? |
Because it's called a Her -- she Bar! (Grace Murtoff, Age 12) |
| Where did Abraham Lincoln live? |
I have his Gettysburg Address in my pocket! (Grace Murtoff, Age 12) |
| Where do mummies swim? |
The Dead Sea! (Grace Murtoff, Age 12) |
| What happened when Abel died? |
He became unable! (Grace Murtoff, Age 12) |
| How can you drop an egg 3 feet without breaking it? |
Drop it 4 feet so because then the first 3 feet will not hit anything! (Grace Murtoff, Age 12) |
| How do we know Rome was built at night? |
Because Rome wasn't built in a day! (Grace Murtoff, Age 12) |
Why wasn't the 11 year old boy aloud to go to see the pirate movie?
|
Because it was rated aaarrrr!!
(from Erik of Carlisle) |
| What kept Adam and Eve from gambling? |
God took their "pair of dice"(paradise)
(Dustin Shrodes) |
| How do you make friends with a squirrel? |
Climb a tree and act like a nut (Tristan Hurst) |
| Why was the elephant the last one to enter Noah's Ark? |
Because he had to pack his trunk! (Alex & Marisa Wagner of Lititz) |
| Why does a milking stool only have three legs? |
Because the cow has the udder! (Alex & Marisa Wagner of Lititz) |
| What do you call a cow with no legs? |
Ground Beef (Alex & Marisa Wagner of Lititz) |
| What does a person who works with stocks wear? |
Stockings. (from Gabby, Manheim, PA) |
| Why shouldn't you tell jokes to a window? |
Because it will crack up!
(from Jared, P.S. "I made this up.") |
| Why did the turkey go up the hill? |
To get to turkey hill!!!
(from Emily from Willow Street) |
| Why did the dog stay in the shade? |
Because he didn't want to be a "hot dog"!
(from Daniel Michalski, Dayton, Tenn) |
| Why did the cookie go to the hosptil? |
Because it felt crummy!!! |
| Why couldn't the mirror tell any jokes? |
Because you could always see
right through Him! (From Jenna Park) |
| Which man in the bible didn't have a father? |
Joshua, the son of Nun
(From Kelly) |
| Why couldn't they play cards on Noah's Ark? |
Because Noah sat on the deck.
(From Kelly) |
| Why did Noah take two animals on the ark? |
Because he had TWO.
(From Brian Engle) |
| What attracts shoppers to the Great Outdoors? |
The mall of the wild.
(From Nicole Stauffer) |
| Where can you see lifeguards dance? |
A beach ball.
(From Nicole Stauffer) |
| What freshens your breath and goes toot toot? |
A tuba toothpaste.
(From Nicole Stauffer) |
| What is black, white and red all over? |
A penguin with a diaper rash
(From Samantha Garman from Manheim)
|
| What do you call a person who drives a tractor? |
A pro-tractor
(From John Weiler) |
What did the banana say to the elephant?
|
Nothing, bananas can't talk!
(Trevor from Willow Street)
|
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Moscow
Moscow who?
Moscow gives more milk than pas cow!
(From the Costello family)
|
| What do you call a camel with no humps? |
Humphrey (Hump-free)
(From the Costello family) |
| "This couple went on a two day trip. They left on Tuesday and they came back on Tuesday. How is that possible?" |
"Answer: The horse's name was Tuesday!"
(From Janelle Suiter, age 10) |
| "What is a box full of ducks called?" |
"A box of quackers!"
(From Grace Murtoff, age 10 - She made this joke up.) |
| Why is the skeleton afraid to cross the road? |
Because he's got no guts!
(From Vivian Cao) |
| The longer I live the shorter I grow. You can stop what I'm doing with just one blow. What am I? |
A candle |
| Teacher: Lisa, where is Moscow? |
Lisa: In the barn, next to Pa's cow. |
| What did the lawyer name his daughter? |
Sue. (From Courtney Landis) |
| Why didn't Noah fish more often? |
He only had 2 worms! (From Chelsea Hamilton, Lititz) |
| What do you call a group of shepherds? |
shep....HERDS (From Jason Horst) |
| What do you call a chef with a banana in each ear? |
Anything you want, because he won't be able to hear you! (From Elizabeth Howell) |
| Why didn't the baby crab share his toys? |
Because he is a little "SHELLfish" (From Melanie Herbert, Brogue) |
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Yahoo?!? Are you a happy cowboy or a happy Internet surfer?
(From Nathan Diehl, Hummelstown) |
| Was there money on Noah's Ark? |
Yes, the duck had a bill and the frog had a greenback. |
| Why did the elephant cross the road? |
It was the chicken's day off. |
| Why did the gum cross the road? |
It was stuck to the chicken's foot. |
| Do rabbits use combs? |
No, they use harebrushes. |
| Is baseball mentioned in the Bible? |
Yes, in the BIG INNING. |
